Rap legend Roxanne Shante is one of the many celebrities to share intimate memories about the passing of Earl “DMX” Simmons last Friday, April 9. In her Instagram post, the artist tearfully recalled the abuse DMX experienced as a child and how it shaped him as an adult.

Roxanne began her comments by saying, “This is one of the most serious things that I’ve ever said, maybe even one of the most emotional and personal things that I’ve ever said,” revealing for the first time personal conversations she had with DMX over the years.

“It has to do with DMX and what he had went through. This is not what somebody told me, this is what he said to me,” Roxanne shared with her followers. “When he was younger, his mom had took him to a children’s home and said that they was just going to visit and she left him there. She took him there and she left him there.”

She said that despite being “too little to defend himself” and “too little to take care of himself,” he did so regardless and pointed to her own experiences of abuse as a child.

“I know what it’s like to run the streets, sleep on the train, sleep in the hallways, tried to sleep at friend’s houses. Have people say you can come stay at they house and they brothers would come try and mess with you or even they fathers and uncles and s**t.”

Roxanne tearfully remembered how the two found that common thread in their lives upon their first meeting and described it as something that was innate when broken spirits come together.

“As soon as me and DMX came in contact with each other, as soon as me and Earl came in contact with each other, we already knew what was done to that spirit,” Roxane cried. “It makes you overly aggressive. It makes you seem angry to people. It makes you seem mad at people. So, people try to find whatever they can in order to overcome that.”

The Instagram video was captioned, “No One Knows. There are Happy Grown ups out here that are still Sad hurt and abused children on the inside.”

With this caption, Roxanne reminded that although someone may be smiling on the outside, beneath that smile, there lies pain that is often too deep to overcome.