Billy Porter has bravely revealed he was diagnosed with HIV. The irony is, unlike his character Pray Tell on the hit FX drama Pose, he kept the diagnosis under wraps for 14 years.
Now, the actor is finally opening up about what it was like to keep his truth hidden from his castmates, collaborators, and even his mother and why he has decided to speak out.
In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, the actor shared, “The shame of that time compounded with the shame that had already [accumulated] in my life silenced me, and I have lived with that shame in silence for 14 years. HIV-positive, where I come from, growing up in the Pentecostal church with a very religious family, is God’s punishment.”
Porter went on to describe 2007 as “the worst year” of his life. He shared that he had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February, filed for bankruptcy in March, and the final cherry on top was his HIV diagnosis in June.
The talented entertainer said that he had scheduled a doctor’s visit to a clinic to get a growing pimple looked at when the front-desk receptionist asked him he wanted to take an HIV test.
He agreed to take the test, and after getting the pimple drained, the doctor confirmed that he was HIV-positive.
After receiving the news, Porter decided to keep his diagnosis a secret from everyone, only telling those he felt “needed to know.”
Porter also grappled with not telling his mother. He claimed that his choice to do so had to do with his wish “to have a life and a career.” He believed people in the industry would have blackballed him based on his positive status, “an already discriminatory profession.”
But everything changed for Porter after having joined Pose, acting as an HIV-positive character. The job posed as a “surrogate” to say “everything” he wanted to about his condition.
“My compartmentalizing and disassociation muscles are very, very strong, so I had no idea I was being traumatized or triggered,” Billy said. “I was just happy that somebody was finally taking me seriously as an actor.”
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During the COVID- 19 pandemic, Porter found himself isolated with time to “stop and reflect and deal with the trauma” in his life.
He began therapy in the last year to cope with a life full of trauma, including “being sexually abused by [his] stepfather from age 7 to 12 and coming out at 16 years old” during the AIDS crisis.
He’s “transcended” beyond being “the statistic” and is done with the stereotypes and stigmas surrounding the HIV-positive community.
“I’m sure this is going to be the first thing everybody says, ‘HIV-positive blah, blah, blah.’ OK. Whatever. It’s not the only thing I am,” Billy said. “I’m so much more than that diagnosis. And if you don’t want to work with me because of my status, you’re not worthy of me.”
