Jerrod Carmichael appeared on the Howard Stern Show and discussed his strained relationship with his mother after coming out as gay in a recent HBO comedy special.
In the interview, the 35-year-old said his mother’s deep ties with Christianity contributed to her reaction regarding his sexuality.
“Me and my mom have a God-sized wall between us. You know, that’s the impossible thing to navigate,” Carmichael explained.
While many Christians have relied on bible teachings to condemn homosexuality, Carmichael said the religion was a source of “self-hate” that prevented him from coming out sooner.
“That’s what was really destructive, and it’s been very, very difficult,” he said.
However, the comedian said he was “trying to trust fall into a new interpretation of religion because I do think it has value.”
He continued, “Like, I haven’t completely let go of it, and I’m trying to reinterpret it for me, and I’ve been trying to get my mother to have some type of openness to her interpretation of it, and it’s hard. It’s a tricky thing because people — my mother, not just people. My mother holds onto religion because it got her through really rough times.”
The former Carmichael Show star explained how his mother “needed God for every step of her life” while growing up in the projects.
“She didn’t account for a gay son. She doesn’t really know what to do with it,” he said. “I can feel her being lost. I want to work with her but talking to her and not acknowledging that part of myself causes a reverberating effect of self-hate that I can’t afford right now. So, I added distance. I think it’s important.”
While Carmichael and his mother used to talk daily before coming out, they no longer communicate because he doesn’t “want the conversation to be fake,” adding that he plans to be more truthful in his work and career.
Despite his mother’s hard time accepting his sexuality, his father, Joe Carmichael, has supported him and served as a “referee” between mother and son.
Carmichael recounted a conversation where he and his father discussed his relationship with his mother.
“‘Your mom called the other day, so take some time to call her. She loves you and misses her baby boy,'” he recalled. “What I wrote back was, ‘I know. I love her too, but her baby boy is now a big gay man, and I think we need some time to come to terms with that.’ And that’s where we are.”
Earlier this month, Carmichael announced that he was gay during his HBO comedy special, Rothaniel, which was taped in front of a live audience in February.
In the special, he revealed that he had a “secret” that he kept from his family, friends, and fans. “And the secret is that I’m gay.”
“I’m accepting the love. I really appreciate the love. My ego wants to rebel against it,” he said as the audience applauded him. “I rebelled against it my whole life. I never thought I’d come out. I didn’t think I’d ever, ever, ever come out. Probably at many points, I thought I’d rather die than confront the truth of that to actually say it to people. Because I know it changes people’s — some people — it changes their perception of me. I can’t control that.”
Watch the full interview below.
