Janet Jackson opens up about her relationship battles with her father, Joe Jackson, well-known for keeping tight reins on his children during his time as their manager.

In the singer’s four-part documentary from Lifetime and A+E, Janet Jackson, the 55-year-old, looked back at her life and career and shared her experiences. She opened up about her past, especially her struggle under her father’s management.

“My father was a good-hearted guy. He really protected us. He went through a lot. The racism, the fighting, people seeing your children as money-making machines. If that didn’t happen, we wouldn’t have had the success as a family that we’ve had,” she reasons. But then she admits, “Growing up, I feel like I didn’t really experience my father the way I wanted to. The way I saw other kids experience their fathers.”

“I wanted my own identity, but at that time, my father was in charge of my life, my career, and he was my manager,” she recalled. “It’s hard to say no to my father, so in order to do things the way I wanted to do, I guess he would have to be out of the picture… I wanted to go on my own.”

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Janet revealed that joining the cast of Fame was Joe’s decision. When it came time to record her second album, Janet dropped Joe as her manager and released the 1986 album Control, a direct message that she would be calling the shots of her career from here on out.

Joe died at age 89 in June 2018, after a long battle with terminal cancer. Janet reportedly attended Joe’s private memorial service and burial at the Forest Lawn Memorial Park cemetery in Glendale, California.

Janet says her father is the key behind her and her siblings’ long-lasting careers despite their troubled relationship.

“It is because of my father that I’ve had the career I’ve had. It was tough at times. There was nothing easy about it. Period,” she adds. “But when you see where we came from and look at where we are now, we owe so much to my father.”