Former participants from the MTV reality series Making The Band have publicly voiced their experiences while on the show, including former Da Band member Freddy P, who claimed Sean “Diddy” Combs is the reason why he “hates life.”

After former Day 26 member and Making The Band participant Willie Taylor opened up about the show’s adverse effects on his career, Freddy P took to Instagram and shared his thoughts on the musical competition show and how it and the Bad Boy mogul impacted his life and career. 

The video is a repost from The Neighborhood Talk, involving the Florida native and other participants as they prepared to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge to bring Diddy cheesecake at his request.

“God knows if I was @diddy, I would’ve done WAY MORE FOR THESE KIDS,” he wrote in the caption. “Any real ninja would’ve. You start out JUST CHASING A DREAM. Then, it QUICKLY GET SNATCHED AWAY. Made me NEVER WANT TO RAP. God gone have the last laugh. My talent was given to me to touch hearts and homes, an’ it was silenced. You silenced God’s plan. Everyone who ever took part will depart horribly from [planet Earth emoji].”

Freddy P posted a follow-up clip and revealed that he contemplated suicide following his experience working with the music mogul. 

“People don’t understand what I’ve been through. This year alone, I’ve contemplated suicide two or three times,” he added.

“I done pictured my brother walking in, finding me dead. I cry, thinking about leaving my son because it just gets tired of life. It’s like, no matter what you try to do, you just gotta keep battling. N***as got they foot on your neck, n*ggas wanna see you fall.”

He continued, saying, “It’s these n***as like Puffy, he my main motherf***in’ reason why I really hate f*ckin’ life, dog. People don’t even understand.”

Da Band released one studio album during the second season of Making The Band in 2003. “Too Hot for TV” was released on Bad Boy records in 2003, debuted at No. 2 on the Billboard 200, and was certified Gold by the RIAA.